The Power of Rhythm Nation 1814

So, as I'm rushing my late ass to work this morning after only 3 hours sleep, I search frantically for my Rhythm Nation CD. I've been wanting to listen to it for weeks but have been too lazy to find it in my collection cuz I keep my cds in no rhyme or reason. So, I find it and pop it in in my car and wow ... I haven't listened to this CD in ages ... and once again I'm flooded with memories.

I remember when I first got the cassette tape (I didn't own a cd player back then). I had just moved to a new house in Grand Prairie that my dad had bought. Actually, I had just moved back to TX after spending a year in Baltimore with my grandparents. My parents were separated and though I wanted to stay in Baltimore with my mom when she finally moved, everybody else thought I would be better back in TX because of the school system (which was bullshit, let me tell U.) That was the only year that I spent away from my mom ... and what a miserable fucking year it was. I had never had a very good relationship with my dad and this year just made it worse.

Anyhoo, in 1989 for my 13th birthday, my dad gave me the Rhythm Nation cassette ... wrapped in newspaper ... like we were in a Charles Dickens novel or something. I mean, my father was cheap but we were far from poor. He was too cheap to pay for me to rent a saxophone so that I could stay in band even though it was clear I had natural musical instinct. Couldn't even take music lessons. But I digress. He was so cheap I was happy to get anything from him, but I don't think he had ANY idea just how profound an impact that album would have on me. For starters, it began my lifelong infatuation with Miss Jackson. I was addicted to it and addicted to her! The sonic landscape that Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis created for that album was groundbreaking. I had no idea at the time that Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis were actually members of the Time. No wonder I liked their shit soooo much! They helped shape that MPLS sound that flavors so much of my music.

I was married to my headphones back then. I didn't have any friends at this new school that I hated (I was ALWAYS starting new schools), the growing dilemna I had with my sexuality just kept getting deeper and more complex, I was completely alone and alienated and basically music was the only outlet and "friend" I had. I had started writing songs the year before, but it was THIS particular year that I discovered the moniker "Saturn" and started using it to write all my music, like an alter ego. Oh, shit, maybe I had multiple personality disorder. I did used to have imaginary friends and shit .... um, ok, let's not go there.

All I'm saying is Rhythm Nation got me through some shit. The next summer we visited Baltimore and I begged my mom to let me stay with her. Instead of doing that, she left her life and her family and went back to a relationship that was basically already doomed ... and she did it for me. I wonder how my life would have been different if we would have instead stayed in Baltimore. Well, they divorced three years later ... and I was not sorry at all. There was, of course, no question where we kids were going.

Geez, I didn't even mean to get into all that. I was just thinking about how I would sit in front of the TV for hours and teach myself the moves to her Rhythm Nation and Miss U Much videos, LOL.

I luv U, Janet!

And nothing could have prepared me for the album event of the following year - the release of Grafitti Bridge. That album inspired me in more ways that I can count ... but that's a whole 'nother story.

"It's nice 2 laugh, but don't be the joke." - Janet Jackson, The Knowledge